2008 Oscar Weekend Live Blog!
--Director Montage. Marty is up. The Coens.
--TEK 12; MWC 9
--Best Picture. Denzel looks hot even without hair. Bastard. The Coens.
--TEK 13; MWC 10
--Good night, everybody. Thanks for reading. And thanks for commenting. Now figure out how to download a podcast and listen. We’re better verbally than on the keyboard. I think.
--Smart is sexy, which makes Daniel Day-Lewis the sexiest man on the broadcast (with Jon Stewart following in a close second).
--I'm loving our Blog comments. Thank you longtime Cinebanter listeners and childhood friends of TEK and next-door-neighbors of MWC and fellow @U2ers. It's always more fun with you following along!
--I'd like to have a DVD compilation of all of these 'winner' montages. For real. I'm that geeky.
--Marty's in the house!
--Director goes to: Joel and Ethan Coen
--TEK 12; MWC 9
--Denzel - bald. I like him with hair, I must admit.
--Best Picture: No Country For Old Men
--TEK 13; MWC 10
--Don't feel bad that I beat you, MWC, I'm sure next year you'll clobber me.
--Show went over only by about 20 minutes.
--Thank you to all who have joined us tonight. Quick plug: we post new Cinebanter shows every other Monday (the next will be our Top 10 of 2007 special edition on March 3). We always welcome your feedback at firstname.lastname@example.org and here at the blog.
--See you back here in 364 days for another Oscar® Weekend Live Blog!
--Harrison Ford. Is a hundred years old. Original Screenplay.
--Stripper-turned-screenwriter Diablo Cody. Dressed as Pebbles Flinstone. Jason Reitman crying. She cries her way off stage.
--TEK 10; MWC 7, it’s over. Michael can’t win. Shoot. I guess we switch off each year.
--Unhappy that Robert Plant’s new songs are already in a commercial.
--Actor Montage. Helen Mirren is hot. Seriously. I’ve abandoned my child! BTW, that SNL skit is simply not funny. People keep saying that SNL is funny again, but no it’s not. I drink your milkshake. Daniel Day-Lewis talks in poems.
--TEK 11; MWC 8.
--Oh Indiana, how old are you?
--Original Screenplay: Stripper-Turned-Screenwriter Diablo Cody.
--TEK 10; MWC 7
--Nice that the hideous dress shows off her bikini-clad tramp stamp.
--She cried. I'm actually glad she won, though I was pulling for Nancy Oliver.
--Good speech, you Entertainment Weekly columnist!
--Over to you, MWC...
--Marketa gets to come back out to do her thanks. Classy move, Stewart.
--Cameron Diaz. Cinematography. There Will Be Blood.
--TEK 8; MWC 6
--It’s time for the dead people. The applause contest. And big finish with Heath and the “official Oscar god angle” into commercial. Executives? Agents? Are personal chefs far behind?
--Amy Adams costume change again. Go see Junebug. Now.
--Tassoula, acting like a big shot, dropping a Cameron Diaz encounter. Oh yeah, well one time Vic Tayback asked me what time it was. And another time, Ricky Schroeder borrowed a quarter to make a phone call. I’m still mad at him for not paying me back. So there.
--TEK 9; MWC 6
--Tom Hanks has no business here, if you ask me.
--Do we want to see the soldiers? Is this appropriate? “Thanks for making us a part of the 80th annual awards.” Let’s see, one group of people dress up in free clothes, get free gifts, take limos, will be up all night in a coke and booze-filled haze, and go home with a supermodel. The other group is living in one of the most dangerous places on the planet, are paid one-tenth of what the guys in Blackwater are, will be denied their full leave back home, and if they survive mentally or physically, might have some of their higher education expenses paid for. THERE IS A FUCKING WAR GOING ON. THIS IS A SHOW ABOUT MOVIES. Off my soapbox now.
--Short Documentary. Director crying. Nice.
--TEK 9; MWC 6
--Documentary. TAXI TO THE DARK SIDE. Incredibly brave choice. Well worth seeing. Unsolicited plug: Michaelvox Review.
--TEK 9; MWC 6
--First time Tassoula cried during broadcast? When "Falling Slowly" from ONCE won.
--BLESS YOU, Jon Stewart for letting the ONCE girl talk.
--I'm still not seeing Ben Affleck anywhere.
--Cameron Diaz "Talented and Beautiful" - um, no. And no. I'm still pissed she almost hit me with her car at the 2000 Oscars® (don't believe me ask my pal Lee)
--Cinematography: There Will Be Blood - hoorah!!!
--TEK 8, MWC 6
--In memoriam. Here come the Heath tears. They showed the Brokeback clip. Serious sadness in the Tassoula homestead.
--Here comes ONCE, the little movie that could. Get off the fucking orchestra and stay on the people who wrote and performed the song, you idiots. How can you possibly mess up something like that. And it would have been better just the two of them.
--Best Picture Montage.1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 those are hash marks for all the ones I’ve seen. We’re comparing in my house. Please hold…58 out of 79.
--Visual Editing now. Bourne.
--TEK 5; MWC 4
--That guy’s 98 years old. Holy crap! He doesn’t have many years left, maybe he should cut his speech short. And he’s still going…still going…bathroom…still going…defragmenting my hard drive…still going…ran out for a slurpee…still talking…smog checked my car…still going…and done.
--Hey, we have comments at the bottom of the page. Thanks you guys. I thought I was just talking to Tassoula.
--Foreign Film. Counterfeiters.
--TEK 6; MWC 5
--Doctor McDreamy. A song from Enchanted. Again. On behalf of the Academy, I’d like to apologize to Eddie “Michael Man Crush” Vedder, who wasn’t even nominated for INTO THE WILD.
--Ladies and Gentlemen, John Travolta. Stranded at the drivein…branded a fool…what will they say, Monday at school…
--Time for the song. ONCE! The night can’t be a total loss now. Glen’s turning pink. “Make Art, Make Art”.
--TEK 7; MWC 6
--Harrison Ford, Hillary Swank, and Cameron Diaz coming up.
--The ONCE song. If this doesn't win, it will be the biggest travesty in Oscar® history. I'm seriously crying at how beautiful it is.
--Even their set is gorgeous--hanging guitars just like the music store in Dublin (weep).
--Best Picture montage makes me want to watch all of them, consecutively (even the majority that I've already seen). This means you, Netflix queue.
--Film Editing: The Bourne Ultimatum. Yahoo!
--TEK 5; MWC 4
--Jon's in the pit.
--With a fan.
--Nicole Kidman, less pregnant than Cate and Jessica. She still has no boobs.
--Robert Boyle = bathroom break for many viewers, bless his heart.
--He must remember the Depression. And the JFK assassination. And Tom Cruise before he was a lunatic.
--This guy worked on the almighty film The Birds. I hereby withdraw my bathroom break joke.
--Is that Fran Drescher on his arm???
--Close-up on Hal Holbrook, who is like a "kid" to this guy, I'm sure.
--He's talking about "Hitch." Way cool.
--He married a screenwriter. God bless him.
--The Academy Awards® will be back with Penelope (what the hell is she doing there?) Cruz, McDreamy and Vincent Vega.
--“The always fantastic Jessica Alba.” Ha, ha, TEK gets the technical awards. How pumped were they to have the almighty Alba there?
--Mr. Diane Lane and James McAvoy
--Adapted Screenplay. They have clips of the people actually typing.
--The Coens win.
--TEK 4; MWC 4
--How do we pick the winners? Let’s take a look. They messed up the typeface on the screen. Nice pixilation. And fantastic acting.
--Cyrus is back. She’s yet to grow into her teeth. Another Enchanted song. Is this really one of the top five songs of the movie year? Are you kidding?
--And the baby goes to…
--Sound Editing. Bourne.
--TEK 4; MWC 4
--I’m Halle Berry, and I’m Dame Judi Dench
--Sound Mixing. Bourne. Guy with Hawaiian shirt not allowed to speak.
--TEK 5; MWC 4
--Actress Montage. Nice surprise. Yikes. La Vie En Rose.
--TEK 5; MWC 4; Extra friend in my den who’s seen only three of these movies 7
--MWC: "The guy's literally holding his Peter on stage." You may have just beat me with the blog joke of the night. I'm still laughing.
--Jon's pregnancy joke to Nicholson: "Perhaps we will re-tally at the end of the night."
--I'm loving that the writers had 10 days to write these jokes and they're funnier than ever.
--Obligatory pans to Nicholson in Laker-caliber front row seat: 3
--Sorry about misspelling Han Solo, Mic Hael. I was 2 when Star Wars came out.
--Adapted Screenplay: No Country for Old Men
--TEK 4, MWC 4
--Shout out to folks e-mailing us...we love it...but how about using our comment section here on the blog and then everyone can see?
--Prez Sid takes the stage.
--Explanation of voting process for film luddites: "Some categories get special screenings" (read: Animated Shorts, Foreign, Documentary Short Subjects).
--There's that effing Miley again.
--That's How You Know? I beg to differ.
--The Rock, er, Dwayne Johnson.
--Visual Effects, Golden Compass. Very nice clock management by winners.
--TEK 2; MWC 2
--Cate for Art Direction. Sweeney Todd. Not so good clock management.
--TEK 2; MWC 2
--Film Montage. Supporting Actors. I could watch chronological winners over and over for every category and not get bored.
--It’s Javier. Speak American, you bastard!
--TEK 3; MWC 3
--Nice YouTube quality Dove commercials. Made by “real women”.
--Salute to binoculars. Nice "Top Secret" clips. Bad Dream montage.
--Please welcome the star of August Rush (oh shit, please no, not Robin look at me Williams). Whew, it’s goddess Keri Russell. That little girl can sing. Wowee. 11 years old.
--A post-suicidal Owen Wilson is here. Short film category. Live Action. The Mozart of Pickpockets.
--TEK 3; MWC 3
--A bee montage?
--TEK, it’s “Han Solo”
--Animated Short. Peter and the Wolf. The guy’s literally holding his Peter on stage.
--TEK 4; MWC 3
--They’re doing a great job of getting these “minor” categories out of the way early.
--Supporting Actress Montage. There’s your surprise: Tilda. Check out THE WAR AT HOME, in which she was brilliant and incredibly recently post-childbirth. Sorry, Beadie. I still want to mention THE WIRE now.
--TEK 4; MWC 3
--Spike Lee brought on-parole-from-tax-prison Wesley Snipes as his date. Maybe not the battle to choose, Spike.
--They call me Mister Tibbs!
Did I hear them say that Owen Wilson is coming up? Sweet!
--"Happy Working Song" loses something without the rodents but Amy is still cute.
--The Rock is sure showing up at a lot of important events. For the love of God, why?
--Visual Effects: The Golden Compass TEK 2; MWC 2
--You think Douglas and Zeta-Jones are creepy, MWC? I vote for Calista and Honsolo.
--Cate Blanchett is classy and gorgeous, as usual.
--Art Direction: Sweeney Todd TEK2, MWC 2
--J. Depp sends kiss from audience. Vanessa is there, after all.
--Cate is the pit bull. Jon Stewart is being played by Cate Blanchett. Could I love him anymore???
--Only if I could sleep with him.
--Supporting Actor montage? WTF? They really didn't think the writers' strike was gonna end, did they?
--J. Hud looks like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.
--Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem TEK 3; MWC 3. Big surprise there.
--I used to be almost fluent in Spanish. I no longer am, but I sure wish that whatever Javier said that he swore a lot and the censors didn't know what to do with themselves.
--That opening gave me a headache. I’ll be slo mo tivo reviewing when this is done.
--The Yukon Hybrid, now getting 8 miles per gallon.
--Stewart: Thank god for teenage pregnancies.
--Nice Norbit joke.
--1738, stripper-turned-screenwriter shoutout. “Enjoy the paycut, Diablo.”
--“Gaydolf Titler”. La Vie En Rose girl has no idea what that means.
--Jennifer Garner is up. Costumes? What? I thought Supporting Actor every year. Garner looks like my 1983 high school girlfriend with the hair over the eye.
--Costumes, Elizabeth. First score: TEK 0; MWC 0
--George Clooney Swoon. Filmed montage. That was awesome.
--Steve Carrell and Anne Hathaway. Animated Feature. Winner: Ratatouille.
--TEK 1; MWC 1
--Brad Bird, the second most powerful man in Hollywood pretending to be nauseous in front of a crowd. Well played, sir.
--Catherine Heigel. Shaky. She may fall over. Makeup category. Nice racist Asian clip they show from Norbit. Winner: La Vie En Rose. I have a lot of people to thank. Not so fast, here comes the music.
--TEK 1; MWC 2
--Here comes the first song. Amy Adams is adorable. And translucent.
--The Douglas – Zeta Jones relationship, still a bit creepy.
--Reg's last bit before the ceremony: "Xavier Bardem here in the front row." Wasn't Xavier the name that was stamped on the asses of Cabbage Patch kids in my youth?
--Opening: "look at all the celebrities we CGI'd when we thought the strike wasn't gonna end!"
--Johnny Depp, where art thou' Vanessa?
--"Tonight, welcome to the make-up sex."
-- I love Jon Stewart.
--Writers 112; everyone else 0
--Ellen Page looks really nervous. So much for the "cool, aloof indie girl."
--Javier's haircut mention #1 - 5:36 p.m.
--First Hillary joke - 5:36:30 p.m.
--Re: NORBIT - "Too often the Academy ignores movies that aren't good."
--I want to sleep with Jon Stewart.
--Diablo Cody really is pretty. Even with the Vagina Monologues haircut.
--"I hope you're enjoying the paycut."
--Now I really want to sleep with him.
--Jon's stripper name: Olympia Dukakis. TEK's? Blazer Cora. For real. Though I'll never be a stripper-turned-screenwriter. Perhaps screenwriter-turned-stripper though, if I don't buckle down.
--Casey Affleck shouldn't have shaved. He looks 14.
--Elizabeth: The Golden Age took the costume prize. Current score: MWC - 0, TEK - 0
--Streisand recalls wanting a plaque vs. her statue. Hello gorgeous.
--From now on, updates every commercial. I hope I get the segment with the “earlier this week, awards were given out for technical achievement” because that’s where the real action is.
--Spike Lee with Wil.i.am’s hat
--Regis backstage with the dancers.
--Regis backstage with the guy who wrote the Rocky score, who is recounting a lengthy story while ABC pays $1.2 million per minute.
--Nicholson next to Javier, in front of Tommy Lee Jones, Johnny Depp front row center.
--I think we’re about to go. Good luck everybody. That sounded stupid. I’m on my couch. What could go wrong?
--Sorry MWC, I'm cutting and pasting from a text doc and forgot to change the '5' to a '7' - glad it gave you a chance to make me laugh, though.
--Ellen Page gracious and sweet. Could she be tonight's upset???
--I will always think of Hillary Swank as Brandon Teena. Not her fault. Well - I guess it kind of is.
--Reg is already backstage with the Enchanted singers. The "3rd song," apparently. I was wondering how they were going to re-create the rats, birds, etc. Now I know.
--Next time I post, it will be at the first commercial, per MWC's refresher course.
--Tassoula, back to the military time drawing board. Just like last year.
--Regis next to the “Where’s The Beef?” woman
--Jennifer Alias mentioned that Ben was there when Gary Busey attacked her earlier. He’s probably one of those “surprise” presenters.
--Javier talks hair.
--Miley feels like Cinderella. I feel like the Evil Stepmother that wants to kill her. SHE HAS NO PLACE HERE.
--Jason Bateman looks dapper.
--Mickey Rooney's still alive?
--Where is Ben Affleck? Has Jen explained this? His brother and one of the stars of his movie are both nominated tonight...
--Helen Mirren snarks about all the good roles going to men. Though she's had very few bad roles.
--Regis: George, you and I had dinner after a private screening of Michael Clayton. Nice name drop. See you in Italy, George.
--ABC giving each actor exactly 12 seconds to wow Regis, et al. My head is spinning with the quickness. These interviews are taped, by the way, so that it seems like everyone is available when the ABC cameras go to them. Javier, learning English day-by-day.
--Miley Cyrus, get the hell off my television set. Go away.
--We have a countdown clock. 20:39
--Refreshing to have a woman "announcer" on ABC.
--You could do better than Pinnochio Michael, as could I. Seriously. Cinebanter fans, write in your vote's for next year's interviewers: MichaelVox in San Jose and Tassoula in Seattle.
--Regis now boasts about his debuting the red carpet. I was four; forgive me if my memory's hazy.
--Reg is far better without an irritating female sidekick.
--ABC is filling 'awkward' time of trying to shoo guests toward microphone with random clips from their movies. I think I'd rather have the awkward.
--Marion is gorgeous, but she really does look like a mermaid. Damn Netflix for not getting this film to me in time "Extremely Long Wait"
--Glad to hear your pizza was right, partner.
--I’m sure everyone’s keeping track at home, but the pizza? Correct. Yahoo.
--ABC: Sarah Polley and Julie Christie together. Close Guantanamo ribbons on these two women.
--ABC: Clooney still on the carpet. Is he doing loops?
--ABC: Penelope Cruz here.
--ABC: Katherine Heigel (sp)? Hot.
--ABC: Michael Moore. Mid America turns off their sets. Moore: “Hello international audience. Please forgive us.”
--ABC: I think we’re about to switch to one pre-show. It’s called an exclusive.
--ABC: I hate to harp on this, and I am in no way saying I could do better, but George Pinnochio has no business interviewing people. I miss Roger even more than usual. He knew what to ask, he knew each actor’s history, he didn’t ask about their clothing. Please, KABC, find someone else. And poor Roeper was rendered mute by the power of the Pinnochio.
--First mention of Heath Ledger: 1650.
--Collin Farrell says he'd be a carpenter or hatmaker if he weren't an actor.
--Fun fact: during Day-Lewis' 'retirement' he apprenticed with a cobbler.
--Casey Affleck and wife Summer. She's a Phoenix, you know. Looks more like Joaquin than River. In great shape for just having a kid a few weeks back.
--Swank seems happier without former husband. Is listing out things she ate already today for Seacrest.
--Johnny Depp with the Captain Morgan facial hair. Still yummy, nonetheless.
--Amazingly old voice comes out of child on the arm of Viggo.
--Round Table! I knew I'd heard that slogan somewhere. My camp counselor from 6th grade Outdoor School worked there. Good pizza.
--I'm getting excited for THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL from all of these trailers. MWC, it will be next CB, yes?
Eating...Round Table...What is the relationship between Viggo and that girl?
--Bless Marion's non-English-speaking heart.
--What was Anne Hathaway in this year that warrants her attendance?
--I hope Colin Ferrel's long hair can be blamed on an upcoming role
--Tilda looks as if she has theater pancake on, but no makeup. Unfortunately, her pale complexion needs makeup.
--Viggo's got a scary beard.
--Why do I get stuck with all the commercials?
--I'm stumped as to what pizza chain Michael is talking about, only remembering a solliliquoy he once delivered about Papa John's being his place of choice because of their online ordering system.
--ABC: Cotillard’s English so rudimentary that she can’t even communicate with Pinnochio. She is much, much prettier than she was in LA VIE EN ROSE.
--E: Helen Mirren, the randiest AARP member.
--E: The Albas are in front of Ryan. When are you due? It’s a secret, Ryan. I learned today that Cash Warren is the son of Hill St. Blues’ Bobby Hill, UCLA standout Michael Warren. So there’s your extra value-added fact of the day.
--Shout out to NPR fan Cari M, following along from a town with exactly 10 movie screens. Pretty sure that TAXI TO THE DARK SIDE will not be opening there.
--E: Cameron Dias forgetting what jewels she’s wearing.
--E: Ms Swank getting out of her limo.
--E: Paul Dano hasn’t cut his hair since THERE WILL BE BLOOD.
--E: Colin Ferrell has the hair I used to want to have.
--E: Kimora makes me switch to ABC
--I think I’ll insist that the delivery guy open the box before I pay.
--ABC: Tommy Lee Jones. Could not look more uncomfortable in Hollywood. Or in a tux.
--My bad. Got sidetracked by e-mails (shout-outs to Mrs. Average Matt and Paul)
--Tilda's hair is redder than Pippi's
--Why does Cameron Diaz come even when she's not in any nominated films?
--Jennifer Garner: gorgeous
--Felicity tells kid he won't need math. Brilliant.
--I'm off of ABC for a while...
--E: Jessica Alba’s boobs? Huge.
--E: Diddy here.
--ABC: red carpet dot com lady is amazed that the internet is world wide. I believe those are the first two words of WWW. “We’re getting e-mail from Egypt, France, everywhere!”
--E: Seacrest: I’ve never met Gary Busey. How is he allowed out? The Buddy Holly Story? When was that? 1983?
--ABC: Pinnochio messes up Atonement girl’s name, says “take-two” and then says it again, forgetting that Live means Live.
--E: Keri Russell and Javier picture in picture. Marion Cotillard wearing fishskin like Ariel in Little Mermaid.
--No Papa Johns in several years. I've upgraded to the last honest pizza on earth.
--Sorry to hear of your Papa John's trauma, MWC. I bet you get a sausage-pepper pizza. Small.
--Helen Mirren WORE a red carpet for the red carpet.
--Pinnochio: "Best Actress Nomilee Laura Linney" What a frickin' joke that guy is.
--At least Roeper's seen the movies he's raving about.
--Jessica Alba has feathers on her boobs.
--Diablo Cody already won an award: ugliest dress on the red carpet.
--ABC's stupid trivia is bugging me; they should give that guy all of Pinnochio's interviews and kick his ass out.
--You know things are bad when Seacrest really IS the best interviewer on the air.
--E: recycling questions from other stars and asking Carrell.
--E: Seacrest and Dempsey enjoying the Dempsey doll, available in stores now.
--Actual pizza conversation just now. Ready, go:
----RT: Thank you for calling round table pizza, is this for pickup, dine in, or delivery?
----RT: What would you like?
----M: A Large…
----RT: I mean, what do you want on it?
----M: I usually start with the size
----RT: What, you don’t want anything on it?
----M: I want a LARGE, with pepperoni, ham, and pineapple.
----RT: Okay, I have a large with pepperoni and pineapple. Do you have any coupons?
----M: Also Ham.
----M: Did you hear that, Ham?
----RT: Ok since you don’t have any coupons…
----M: Can you hear me at all? I mean, seriously?
----RT: Yes I can
----M: OK, what did I get?
----RT: pepperoni, ham, and pineapple? Large?
----M: Yes. And I have a coupon.
----RT: That’s three dollars off. It will be there in 45-60 minutes.
----Like she was both deaf and retarded. I say large and she thinks I’ll forget what I want on the actual pizza. If I were yelping right now I’d say that I order from this same store probably 15-20 times a year. Usually they can figure out the intricacies of the pizza ordering process. So, I’m not optimistic about what I’ll get. We’ll see.
--ABC: Regis is in charge of the official pre-show? Uh-oh.
--E: Cameron Dias
--E: Alias and Laura Linney are chatting.
--E: Gary Busey about to attack Ryan Seacrest. Messing up his Linney/Garner interview. Busey is big trouble. Clearly this is live. Busey kissed her on the neck. She’s calling for Ben to save her. Seacrest blows off Busey by saying “see you at that party later.”
--E: The Superbad Jewfros are out.
--E: Keri Russell with pony tailed guy.
--Michael and I should try out for the "Celebrity Says" game show that keeps being touted on TVGN
--Seth Rogen...nice fro, but still not 'sexy' to me
--Daniel Day lewis looks dashing; his wife looks like Annette Bening in BUGSY
--Shout out to listener Paul in England: Amy A's dress is hunter green :)
--If I never see Miley Cyrus again, it will be too soon.
--Seacrest to Dempsey: "Your eyes are so blue it's magical
--Travolta in the house; wifey had dark hair again
--Fun fact: Tassoula's hair stylist in Seattle used to be Ms. Preston's stylist in Beverly Hills
--Does anyone else think Kimora has put on weight since the divorce?
--Amy Adams is adorable
--Pizza is good
--Just about time to call for pizza.
--ABC: Someone left their starbucks cup on the velvet rope stand. Tacky.
--E: Ruby Dee. Sans huge glasses.
--E: Seacrest: The carpet is crowded with stars and a bunch of other people who I don’t recognize.
--E: Girl from Atonement has the cutest accent ever.
--E: Amy Adams looking good.
--E: James McAvoy
--E: The Rock. I’m pretty sure that THE GAMEPLAN isn’t nominated.
--E: Still talking about Clooney. E gossip guy “History was made tonight as he unveiled his girlfriend.” Former waitress at the Palms in Vegas.
--E: The Day-Lewis is here.
--E: Travolta and Preston
--E: Carrells. Seacrest and Carrell in the Gelson’s in the valley. Good times. Just two normal guys talking about grocery shopping.
--ABC: Pinnochio and Clooney. Car crash. Sara Larson—Millions are creating Larson voodoo dolls as we speak. Her days are numbered. Apparently, Sara isn’t allowed to talk with George around. Clooney: “She was up all night beading her dress.”
--E: Seacrest is apparently getting oral from the correspondent next to him. A British producer of some kind. Get off your knees.
--E: The weather girl on E used to be on Fox NFL Today, believe it or not.
--E: Now Clooney on E. I can’t figure out the order. My couch partner says Sara is 20 years old. Anyone have actual stats. Seacrest: Hey George, did you buy a beach house for Sara? Clooney: I’ve never heard that story in my life. Seacrest has a dozen stories about Clooney. Apparently Clooney bought a house on the spot, attacked the SAG president, and has flawless hair. Seacrest needs a shower and so do I, I’ll confess.
--E: Bateman now talking about Clooney’s hair.
--E: Carrell and wife
--E: BFF from Juno
--E: And back to Kimora. So I’m back to ABC now.
--E: Anne Hathaway is “redeeming herself” according to the divas on E
--E: What does “very simple, but very elegant” even mean? And why are my testicles shriveling up?
--It's all commercials now, so I'm going to pick up my pizza (why pay delivery tip when I can drive myself?)
--MWC, you can take one for the team and have my 1555 slot since it will take me more than 10 min. to get pizza
--ABC: Roeper and Wilkinson. Pinnochio makes my stomach churn.
--ABC: Apparently using the red filter on everyone.
--ABC: Randolph Duke: Three Dollar Bill
--E: Clooney said he is Clinton to Day-Lewis’ Obama
--ABC: Somehow, even the black correspondent looks red.
--ABC: The story of the fans. 624 on the bleachers. Some day.
--ABC: The envelopes are still arriving? Are they the slowest walkers on hand? How long is this frickin carpet.
--E: I’ve just been told that Klum’s purse didn’t match her dress. And that’s not a euphemism.
--ABC: Beadie back on camera. ABC is apparently a half-mile to the left of E. Roeper “you’re performance popped.” Is that possible?
--ABC: Atonement girl has her hair pulled back so tightly she can see in two directions at once.
--ABC: Take. The. Microphone. From. Pinnochio. Now.
--ABC: Once “Boy” carrying his own guitar. How sweet.
--E: Patrick Dempsey. Shout out to CAN’T BUY ME LOVE. Dempsey on the riding mower—good times.
--E! has a weather girl? She has that white-trash-smoked-during-childhood bad voice.
--I like Amy Ryan
--The Once couple is here. Only 18 years separates them.
--Found the post that TEK erased. It wouldn’t be a live blog without some TEK time corrections of one sort or another.
--E: I don’t mind the Seacrest. He is more comfortable on camera than anyone I’ve ever seen.
--If you’re a Tivo person as I am, all of these commercials are new to you.
--The blimp is here, proof positive of the incredible world-wide importance of this night.
--Seacrest: Clooney has too much game.
--E: THE WIRE’S Amy Ryan is on the carpet. I heart you Beadie.
--E: Chenoweth’s head is twice the size it should be for her body.
--E: it’s fast and furious now. Wilkinson. Amy Ryan actually fake punching the Seacrest.
SORRY MWC. CHALK IT UP TO AIRBORNE, THERA-FLU, SLEEPING PILLS, RICOLA AND ME MISUNDERSTANDING YOUR EARLIER E-MAIL THAT REFERENCED 5:30; WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
--We don’t have ABC yet. What’s going on. We wait until 3:30.
--Kimora Lee gets to talk fashion.
--TVG is trying to have Rinna and Joey inserted into all the best picture nominees. Not exactly the Oscar opening.
--TVG has some union guy on
--TVG has Seal and Klum
--TVG and E have commercials, commercials, and more commercials
--Clooney swoon is here.
Hey TEK. WE HAVE ONE RULE HERE. I'M ON THE ZEROS AND YOU'RE 0N THE FIVES. SO YOU JUST ERASED MY THING. AGAIN.
--Rain has started (but not in Seattle, nanny, nanny boo-boo)
--Clooney is in the house
--Time to order that pizza
--Switching between TVG and E
--Jon Stewart on E is actually pretty funny, even with stupid E chick.
--The Accountants are here. And they pose and hold the briefcases high.
--Switching over to ABC to count how many boobs Roeper will reference.
--Starting to think pizza toppings (yes, even with fever, I must have Oscar® Day pizza).
--Uh-oh. Pinnochio tool is back.
--People I don’t know arriving. Yahoo.
--Lou Gossett sighting. It must be starting.
--Three words: Lingerie Fashion Show (on E)
--TEK, not 99 movies, 99 nominations.
I told you I couldn't do math. But if you said there are 99 nominations, and there are only 19 below I haven't seen, I'm not getting how we tie at 68.
To answer your question, yes, I saw Valley of Elah. It is my most recent Netflix viewing, coincidentally (and I loved it, by the way).
Done with Entertainment Weekly and the Oscar picks episode of Filmspotting. Since E! is back to hairstyles, I've flipped to TVGN. Oh, Joey.
Did you see Valley of Elah?
By my calculations you've seen 68 of the 99 nominations. Including a sweep of the best original song category. This makes it an exact tie. Damn.
Done with paper. Showered, shaved, ready to pre-game.
MWC, two things: 1) That's why I was trying to separate the Indie blog from the Oscar blog...because it still notes the date as Saturday in our heading. But whatever. Everyone must know it's Sunday by now, I guess. 2) I've seen 80 of the 99 movies. I guess that means I won.
Currently reading Entertainment Weekly.
TEK, two things: 1) the day is no longer necessary; and 2) In the time it took you to type out all the movies you haven't seen, you could have easily counted the nominations you've missed on your official EW Revlon-sponsored ballot. I can't do it for you. Count, subtract from 99, use as numerator.
Almost done with entire newspaper. Only Arts section left. Chip dip is chilling.
--I kid you not, E! just interviewed the dog from NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN.
--How's that for filling 10 hours of pre-show?
Okay Michael—game on.
Since you know I suck at math, how about you calculate my Seen It average for me? Removing the Live Action Shorts (which I HAVE seen) and the Animated Shorts (which I haven't), here is the list of what I missed:
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
The Kite Runner
La Vie En Rose
Norbit (PROUD to say I skipped this)
Operation Homecoming: Writing the Wartime Experience
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Taxi to the Dark Side
3:10 to Yuma
Did I beat you?
As you know, I love to challenge Tassoula to contests (especially if I think I can win) and I was just crunching some numbers about this year’s nominated films. You can see our ballots further down this same page.
Excluding all the shorts, which are hard to see before the ceremony, (sort of like the Consumer Price Index excluding the “volatile food and energy prices”), there are 99 nominations for 2008. I haven’t done this in years past, but I did a count and found that I’ve seen 68 of those 99 for a “Seen It!” average of 68.7%, which doesn’t sound that good, but if you missed Transformers this year, as I did, that takes away three points right there.
What is your Seen It average?
Now I’m off to read the paper. Even the gayest straight man in America (me) can only take so much pre-game hype.
7:30 until showtime.
I wanted to give a quick plug to something that’s been going on at this time of year for about ten years. Weekend Edition Sunday on NPR brings in an expert to review the five Best Score nominees and discuss their moods and nuances. As I do all my NPRing via podcasts now, I haven’t heard it in several years. But this morning, as I made my toast, I heard Michael Clayton and then Ratatouille. If you’re a music / movie score snob, you owe it to yourself to remember this for next year. I think they start two weeks prior to Oscar Day.
7:30 until showtime.
Good morning everyone.
Just finished the most important meal of the day. Eggs, toast, coffee. Pizza to follow later, of course. The E crew is already on the scene, trying desperately to stretch their 12 hours of pre-show coverage. If you’re an out flamboyant designer, and can get into your tux at this hour, you’ve got a guest spot on E. No wonder the Taliban hates us.
On the other hand, I may have just learned something from “The Story Behind The Story.” THERE WILL BE BLOOD division. The kid had to be recast; the oil derrick fire was too intense to shoot twice so they had to scramble the cameras; the reaction shots to the fire were all filmed the next night (watch the sky for differences); and the smoke from the fire shut down production on the nearby set of NO COUNTRY FOR OLD ME. Not sure if any of this is true (I love how 20somethings sitting in an empty screening room talking to an off-camera interviewer speak as if they had some actual inside knowledge), but it makes for a good story.
--Awake. Still sick. Fever of 102 degrees, but remaining excited about the day in spite of it.
--Vanilla Americano from Starbucks is helping the headache; the blueberry muffins from scratch I'm about to take out of the oven will undoubtedly take the fever down (or at least make me forget about it).
--Channel tuned to: E! (they've already got 'coverage' going)
--Weather in Seattle: raining
--How many hours to go until the ceremony???
--Just 25:15 until the Oscars start. Start the countdown.
--See you tomorrow.
--Not much more to add except to say that I agree with my partner that there should be a red carpet for this. Interesting people always have interesting things to say.
--Overall a pretty predictable winners list, but nothing I'm too upset about (except Jennifer Garner again being snubbed for her wonderful Juno performance).
--I'll see you all here tomorrow. I'm guessing very well in advance of the ceremony.
--Stripper-Turned-Screenwriter covered up.
--Ellen Page: The best script I’ve ever read in my life. And I’m 21!
--Final award of the afternoon. Feature. Dustin: I did fuck Javier Bardem, and Phillip Seymour Hoffman is the product of that union.
--Diving Bell, I’m Not There, Juno, A Mighty Heart, Paranoid Park
--Winner is: Juno.
--Hoffman grabs a chair, wrestles Wilson.
--Every time someone says "Fox Searchlight" I think they're about to say "Fuck."
--On that same note, I think Julian Schnabel also wants to fuck Javier Bardem.
--Dustin Hoffman had me until he recycled the Philip Seymour joke.
--Electronic microphone stands. So much potential.
--Jason Bateman gives Ellen Page a brotherly glance. She's dressed perfectly for the occassion, by the way.
--Speaks five languages, I want to fuck him so hard, Javier Bardem! Javier: we’ve got a deal!
--Director. Gus won’t leave Portland, apparently.
--Pajama man wins. “Hey, why is that guy wearing pajamas and slippers?” “Shh, don’t say anything he’s an artist—an eccentric” “Oh, okay”
--Without John Killick, this speech is over.
--Matt and Kate. Are you kidding me? Where are the ugly people?
--By far the best intro: "I want to fuck him SO HARD."
--Javier: "He's got a deal."
--Javier: The award goes to "Julia Snobble." Gotta love the accent.
--I'm delighted that the Diving Bell is kicking so much indie ass tonight.
--Tomorrow I'll probably cry at the Heath photo during the obligatory "In Memoriam" montage. Noticably absent: Michelle Williams.
--Heath Ledger memorial section.
--This entire ten minutes will be taken up by I’M NOT THERE.
--“that ain’t no etch a sketch”
--Juno song. Those guys are not playing at being indie, they are completely indie. Those two guys are on their knees. Bill Havercheck from the late, great Freaks and Geeks is the guy in the middle. If she pierces her lips any more times she could sing without opening her mouth.
--R.I.P. Heath. Well said, Patricia Clarkson.
--This chick's acceptance speech is like a sonnet. Almost makes me miss the orchestra.
--I love that someone actually mentioned Julian's pajamas, then the cameraman cut to him in a shot of his...pajamas.
--Why does everyone's speech seem like it's 8 pages long???
--Hunka hunka burning love.
--Fisher Stevens used to sleep with Michelle Pfeifer. Get your head around that one.
--Cinematography. Diving Bell. Good choice.
--Julian is, in fact, in pajamas. And crazy yellow skeet shooting sunglasses.
--Juno skit. The chair scene. NICE.
--Meg and Dennis in the same place? Battle of the face lifts. Dennis is winning. Who’s using HGH?
--Lisa just used her Phoebe voice. Oh, how I've missed my Friends.
--Dude, it's your wife's birthday and she's not your date? What better way to get out of paying for dinner?
--Crazy Love. Good movie; crazy couple. It'll make you believe in fate.
--I can't believe Helvetica was nominated for something. Next year's nominees: Times New Roman and Courier New.
--First shoutout to a font: Helvetica.
--Michael Winterbottom. Can you get my bottom out of your mind?
--Are these the most attractive presenters in IFC history? I think so. Keri and Colin, et al.
--Largest eyebrows? Tamara Jenkins. See you in another decade.
--Best Feature nomination. Brad Pitt. Michael. Winter. Bottom.
--The world’s greatest TV show, the Wire’s Amy Ryan.
--He just had to start with the bathroom jokes.
--A Mighty Heart director wins Best Sport award.
--"From the top not the bottom."
--Every time I look at Keri Russell now, I want pie.
--This winner is sharing her award with her husband in "every way." What the hell does that mean? How many ways can it be shared? Physically? Emotionally? Metaphorically?
--Where the hell are they seating these people? Tijuana?
--The Independent Spirit Awards are pleased to welcome Kotex as a principle sponsor.
--Allison Janney is the coolest.
--John Waters has been giving the same (fantastic) speech for a decade now.
--The longest walk to the stage ever. Someone to watch award? Someone to escort the stage is more like it.
--Producer of Paranoid Park is 17 years old. And shimmery.
--You did see THE ROCK in the audience, MWC. He's everywhere, dude.
--Waters and Janney handing out money. NICE.
--I noticed the words on that last song were off too. Somehow made it funnier for me.
--Damn that Pop Secret. I'm going to go pop some popcorn now (but mine is the more economical Jolly Time brand).
--Did I just see THE ROCK in the audience?
--Couldn’t get Gus Van Sant? Nice homoerotic shower in slow motion.
--Did “Paranoid Park” even come out in America?
--Paranoid Song. How can the words be off? “can you help me with my Netflix que”. I know these guys are supposed to be a fake band, but they look no different than real bands from the mid-80s.
--Best Male Lead: Shout out to HALF NELSON’s Shareeka.
--They pick the worst scene from THE SAVAGES. Where he’s hanging from the door jam.
--Smoldering Tony Leung.
--It’s Hoffman. Not Dustin.
--Shareeka looks EXACTLY the same as she did in Half Nelson. Alan Arkin just looks old.
--Paranoid Park? Never heard of it.
--Homoerotic shower by Rainn Wilson = hilarious. He's earning his pay today, that's for sure.
--So happy for ONCE! Poor Maggie nearly pulled an Elizabeth Taylor there.
--Metal band just rhymed something with 'Gus Van Sant' - love it.
--I’d love a red carpet pre-show for the Indies.
--I’m not there is probably the one movie I missed this year that I’m sad about.
--Dylan song now. “why are five Bob Dylans so profound” “and speak in a monotone, like a Dylan clone”
--Maggie Cheung is on frickin TV? How am I not watching that? Holy crap.
--Foreign language. ONCE! (please?). Not a weak one in the bunch for once. ONCE ONCE ONCE ONCE. Marketa is 3 feet tall.
--Kate Beckinsale is sitting on someone’s lap. I need a cocktail.
--Can Maggie decipher a single word that the Once director is saying?
--There are a lot of 'profound' speeches this year for such a casual show.
--Cate really was frickin' great in I'm Not There. I'm happy she won.
--Steve Z. has the perfect voice to impersonate Dylan.
--"Or Was Gary Coleman out of town?" Funny.
--Now Dawn’s talking. Bathroom break.
--“Ted Haynes, big fan” All the directors are good sports with these skits. Nice Dylan impression.
--Meg Ryan Joke Face alert. She looks okay, actually.
--“The Pool” is directed by the American Movie guy. But in Spanish?
--Shotgun Stories? http://www.michaelvox.com/2008/02/shotgun-stories.html
--The John Cassavetes Award is probably the most indie of all the awards. What can you do with $100,000?
--Lovin' the Rainn 'fro. These skits are working for me.
--For a commercial-free show, they sure have a lot of 'sponsor moments.'
--Another shout-out for Rocket Science. I'm starting to feel left out.
--Get-out-your-pocketbooks-anorexic-president lady looks as if she has a beanstalk climbing up her neck.
--Schnabel not wearing pajamas. For once.
--Supporting Actress. Eva Mendez. Yowza! You don’t need to be able to read, sweetheart.
--How long was “Rocket Science” in theaters?
--And finally, the very nude Marisa Tomei.
--Winner: Cate. And unborn child.
--First Heath Ledger shout out: 1438
--Here goes the first song. Maybe the best part of the whole show. David Allen Grier.
--“Paralysis Blows” “You type and I’ll blink” “I can’t even flirt” “who knew that an eyelid could still turn out prose?”
--Just saw the almighty Kate Beckinsale.
--MWC, our show on THE LOOKOUT was episode #26.
--Oh...now I get it...MWC wants to bang Ellen Page, not drink with her. My bad.
--Added to Netflix queue: Rocket Science
--Rainn Wilson Diving Bell audition was actually pretty funny.
--Diablo's tramp stamps take her 'cool' factor down in my book. But I'll agree—great boobs. Why give up stripping with a pair like that?
--Diablo Cody is much hotter than I wanted her to be. Boobs, cool tattoos, dyed hair. Shoot.
--Did I know that Maria Bello had a fake English accent? Two days in Pahrahs. Madonna must be running a language school.
--Mad Men Shout Out! Do I add him to my man crush list?
--TEK, I don’t mean legal for getting into a bar!
--The Lookout wins. I’m sure TEK can tell us what Cinebanter episode that was. Tall, medium, diminutive. Oh shit, he’s got an essay to read. Still going. What if he wouldn’t have won? He would have written this tome for nothing. For pity’s sake, hurry up.
--Maverick Microwave Popcorn, Pop Secret.
--I really wanted to like Stripper-Turned-Screenwriter Diablo Cody, but that was a dumb ass speech. And didn't she get the memo? This is the show where you wear your jeans and babydoll tees with clever statements across them; not a cocktail dress with way too much cleavage for 2 in the afternoon.
--Even Mad Men hottie Jon Hamm is sporting the George Michael-scruff. Yum.
--I need to see the ONCE duo perform live. As soon as possible.
--Best supporting actor: Haven’t seen the first three. I like how you can swear on the film clips on IFC. Namesake? Saw it. Steve Zahn appears to be tearing up at the mere mention of his own name. The clip from Rescue Dawn could be renamed “Charlie Manson Face Hair Club For Men”.
--Kasi Lemmons is a cool chick.
--The song of the year!! Sweet. Glen’s guitar has any wood left on it. I’m tired of saying this, but go rent ONCE right now. While you’re thinking about it. The crowd stays seated.
--Kerry Washington: Michael Top Ten
--First sighting of Stripper-Turned-Screenwriter.
--Did anyone on this earth actually see Talk to Me?
--I forgot how good Steve Z. was in Rescue Dawn. Damn.
--I need to watch The Namesake again soon. Irfan Khan rules!!!
--MWC - Ellen Page became "legal" exactly 48 hours ago (per IMDB). Too bad you're taken.
--Ellen Page looks legal and hot.
--Mike White is creepy.
--Powered by Ed Begley, Jr.
--Rainn is not an attractive woman. Nice spit take.
--How long can Dennis Hopper live off Blue Velvet?
--First plug for Juno by bit player in film: 2 minutes, 2 seconds into broadcast.
--Actors who are wearing "the scruff" before their wives make them shave tomorrow night for the Oscars® = 2 (so far)
--First mention of Global Warming: 4 minutes, one second. No pan to Leonardo? He must not be there...
--"Sloppity vagina" better when said by Rainn Wilson.
--Not really sure what the “Live Countdown” is. New this year, I think.
--I will not be going to Matt Singer’s myspace.
--When did crumpled brown paper become a suitable backdrop?
--Apparently the live countdown is a series of commercials.
--Matt, go away. Please? Or stay in Park City year-round.
--“You’ll Laugh ‘Til It Hurts” says Jeffrey Lyons.
--Seriously, I thought we’d be at the red carpet or something, but it’s literally ten minutes of commercials before the show. I feel like I’m in a multiplex watching the pre-show commercials while people talk around me.
--Live! Uncut! Bullshit!
--I hope Rainn Wilson does that “one doodle that can’t be undone home skillet” routine.
--I don't know what Great World of Sound is either.
--I also hate Matt Singer and wonder why the "indie" community finds it necessary to use such a faux-indie (black-rimmed glasses, check; 'ironic' sweater, check) to represent. It's disappointing.
--MWC - I guess this means I'm 5s?
IFC Nomination Show! Yeah!
--I don’t want to start with a negative, but few people’s voices make me less happy than Matt Singer from IFC. I’m not sure what this argyle sweater wearing guy’s appeal is. But he shows up everywhere I wish I was. Damn.
--“Let’s ask the custodian of the AMC Hollywood who he thinks might win”
--Great World Of Sound? What the hell? Never heard of it.
This special is so cheesy, I'm actually sneaking Scrabulous plays in while I watch.
Popping a Ricola into my mouth and making Cinnamon tea. All set for the special.
Time to make a sandwich and get comfortable for the nominee special on IFC. Thank you for asking, I think Ham & Cheese.
Last year's prediction score: MWC 14, TEK 11.
2008 OSCAR PREDICTIONS:
TEK and MWC Agree on the following:
PIC NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN
DIR JOEL AND ETHAN COEN
ACTOR DANIEL DAY-LEWIS
SUPPORTING ACTOR JAVIER BARDEM
ACTRESS JULIE CHRISTIE
DOCUMENTARY NO END IN SIGHT
FOREIGN THE COUNTERFEITERS
ORIGINAL SONG FALLING SLOWLY FROM ONCE
ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY JUNO
FILM EDITING NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN
Supporting Actress TEK Ruby Dee, MWC Amy Ryan (of the almighty WIRE)
Art Direction TEK Atonement, MWC Blood
Cinematography TEK Blood, MWC No Country
Costumes TEK Sweeney, MWC Atonement
Documentary Short Subject TEK Salim Baba, MWC Sari's Mother
Makeup TEK Pirates, MWC Rose
Score TEK Atonement, MWC Ratatouille
Animated Short TEK Peter & The Wolfe, MWC I Met The Walrus
Live Action Short TEK At Night, MWC Tanghi Argentini
Sound Edit TEK Blood, MWC No Country
Sound Mix TEK Bourne, MWC No Country
Visual Effects TEK Golden Compass, MWC Transformers (more than meets the eye)
Adapted Screen TEK Diving Bell, MWC No Country
Michael edits posts without permission to make them the same as they were last year. Three hours and counting until the tent in Santa Monica.
Tassoula wakes up with wicked sore throat. Takes Airborne. Sprays Chloraseptic.
Good thing we're doing this on the blog instead of "on the air."
For the second consecutive year, Tassoula and I are going to live blog this weekend. We promise to snark, comment, argue, and ridicule the biggest weekend of the moviegoing year. Today in a tent next to the Santa Monica Pier, what is affectionately called the "Independent Film Community" will meet to hand out the Independent Spirit Awards, though this year they've changed the name to the Indies I think. Then on Sunday evening, that most American of holidays, the Academy Awards takes place at the Kodak (tm) Theater in Hollywood. Refresh this page for all the updates on boobs, face-lifts, filmmakers who got robbed, dozens of stories on Stripper-Turned-Screenwriter Diablo Cody, and all manner of snobby commentary. Feel free to add to the comments section as we go along. Those of you in other countries (hey guys) probably won't be awake when the actual ceremonies take place, so you can check here after the shindigs have ended. We'll be live from two couches on the Left Coast of America. Join us and ridicule people with more money, looks, and usually more talent than TEK and I.
Michael asked that I post a reminder of our upcoming Live Blogs this weekend.
So when should you log on?
On Saturday, February 23, the broadcast on IFC starts at 2:00 p.m. Pacific Time.
On Sunday, February 24, the broadcast on ABC starts at 5:00 p.m. Pacific Time.
Of course, keep in mind we'll be blogging during the pre-shows (or even earlier in some cases). And there will be talk of pizza toppings, boob-laden dresses and ridiculous speeches.
But that's what it's all about, right?
We sure hope you'll join us...