Cinebanter

The official Web site of the Cinebanter movie podcast.

Friday, February 23, 2007

2007 Oscar Weekend Live Blog!

2125
--Lucas should have said something like "I have Star Wars merchandising rights".
--Pretty good job overall.
--Worst speech was probably the last guy. Why thank Leo specifically?
--I'm exhausted. Good job Departed.
--Goodnight from San Jose.

2115

--My bad about the millitary time (it's fixed now).
--Divorceé Barbie™ is looking good tonight. Take that Ryan Phillipe!
--Best Actor is Forest Whitaker. MWC 13, TEK 10.
--Uh-oh. I feel some Golden Globes® rambling coming on...
--They pan to the audience to show folks looking at their watch, taking drinks from flasks, changing their hair color...
--He thanks ancestors...and SCENE.
--Director posee just took to the stage and told an innuendo-ish joke. Nice.
--Spielberg lets the others know who's in charge by telling them "Spread out."
--FINALLY!!! Martin Scorsese is an Oscar® winner!!! I'm jumping up and down in my living room. Well deserved standing ovation.
--MWC 14, TEK 11
--"Can you double-check the envelope?" Nice one, Marty.
--I swear Clint Eastwood just yawned.
--"I go for X-rays, they say 'You should win one!'" Precious.
--Marty has a 7-year-old???
--Little ditty 'bout Jack and Diane...
--Best Picture goes to The Departed. It is Marty's night.
--From Seattle, goodnight.
--MWC - final words?

TEK

~~~~~

2056

--First off, TEK needs a lesson in military time.

--Well, that’s our show. Nice. Ellen is doing great.
--Wash your hair please Mr. Hoffman.
--It would have been the biggest upset in Oscar history. What was the voiceover saying when she walked up? Something about a faith healer or something.
--MWC 12: TEK 10

MWC

~~~~~

2049

--Kate Winslet in my favorite dress of the evening, cutting to the chase.
--Film Editing goes to The Departed. Drat. MWC 12, TEK 9.
--Jodi Foster gets the In Memoriam announcement because she lost someone only 2 weeks ago. That's sad—they should've let her pass it on to someone else if she's still grieving.
--I hate it how some dead people get bigger applause than other dead people. I feel so sad for the families of the ones no one claps for. There should be a rule that there's no clapping until the end.
--The Incredible Mr. Limpet, the one-handed push-up champion of the Academy®, Altman...get me a hankie.

TEK

~~~~~

2031

--Is anyone singing along with Hudson? Seriously, are people running around singing songs from Dreamgirls? I don’t think so. The props this movie got were so out of proportion.
--We might just have our first boob emergency, right onstage now. Calm down, Hudson.
--Thankfully, Goddess Beyonce appears. But why the fake horn players? And the darkened guy in the hat. Now this song is good. Probably the highlight of the movie for me. “Listen”.
--Now the third Dreamgirl appears for “Patience”.
--I’d watch Beyonce perform a click-song in Swahili as long as she stayed in that dress.
--Travolta and The Queen were referring to the Hairspray film.
--Etheridge beat cancer. How cool is that?
--MWC 11, TEK 9

MWC

~~~~~

2017

--Announcer: "Volverine" ha.
--Best Original Score goes to Babel; neither of us got that one. Score is still 10-9 in favor of MWC.
--3rd pronunciation "Baabell". In your face, all who call it Bable (like table).
--I want to go to fantasy motion picture library that Academy® guy "Sid" mentioned in his speedy pre-taped spiel.
--Best Original Screenplay goes to Michael Arndt for Little Miss Sunshine. I'm glad about this even though I didn't predict it. MWC 11, TEK 9.
--Arndt credits film for saving his life. Makes you wonder what Ferris Bueller and Carrie Bradshaw had him doing all day before then.
--Cirque de Soleil is a devlish pump. Men probably didn't see that. Like those old dinosaur-in-dots photos at the mall. You can only see it if you're looking for it.
--Connelly is doing his best pre-stroke Dick Clark at the Globes® impersonation.

TEK

~~~~~

2003

--For more of Eva Green (much more, if you know what I’m saying), see THE DREAMERS.
--Ruby Yang makes it 9-8 MWC
--Jerry Seinfeld has a long, illustrious career in Hollywood film. Wait a minute.
--Larry David’s wife is about to flash the cameras. Look out.
--Al Gore continues his image rehabilitation.
--My favorite composer is about to get a lifetime achievement. Go download the soundtrack to THE MISSION. Now. It’s tear-inducing.
--Clint is just about too old to speak in public.
--Ennio appears bored by his own career. Uncle Fester sitting immediately behind him seems to be enjoying himself.
--A world premiere from a 1984 film? I don’t get it.
--Quincy Jones, Randy Newman, Clint Eastwood, other composers up on their feet.
--Um, does he know that he’s in the U S of A? We speak American here, Italiano. And I’m supposed to trust the Eastwood knows what he’s saying. Who is Clint now, Berlitz? For all we know he’s saying “a pox on both your houses, you ugly Americans”. Ken Watanabe: I just figure the English language out and I have to put up with this bullshit? Rinko looks on in horror.
--The score is now 10 to 9 MWC.
--Who will get the In Memorium?

MWC

~~~~~

1956

Not my turn, but 'Mission' music just got me crying. What a genius.

TEK

~~~~~

1938

--MWC-That Wes Anderson commercial is the one I mentioned on our show! I've now seen it 4.1 million times. God awful.
--Visual Effects goes to Pirates. Big suprise there. We must be tied at 7-7 now?
--Foreign Language montage lacks subtitles. Most Americans are now peeing.
--Clive Owen. Aesthetic perfection.
--Best Foreign Language Film goes to The Lives of Others. Hurrah!!! Finally, one that I was pulling for. Brilliant.
--Guy accepting award doesn't sound so German.
--Camera pans over to the right and we get another glimpse of Clive. Just leave it there, please.
--Ellen mocks Cirque de Soleil. Snake on a plane. Awesome.
--Cirque de Soleil eats Ellen then morphs into scorpion on a plane.
--Clooney, sharp as always with a good Gore joke.
--Best Supporting Actress goes to Jennifer Hudson. MWC & TEK tied at 8, I think. Adriana can't hide her disappointment and who can blame her?
--Jennifer is first crybaby of the night.
--She's thanking mom, sisters, boyfriend, God, Academy®, Jennifer Holiday, animal wrangler backstage...

TEK

~~~~~

1916

--most annoying Amex commercial ever: Wes Anderson.
--MWC: 6, TEK 5
--Of course I get the costume category. Pinch me.
--Streep is such a good sport.
--Shockingly, I pick wrong and TEK ties it up with 6. It was literally eye candy. Joel Grey accepts the award, oh, it’s a French woman, my bad. A shout-out to Stanley Kubrick.
--Tom Cruise!
--Sherry Lansing gets applause from anyone who wants to produce something at Paramount. Actually, she sounds like a pretty cool chick. And handsome, too. William (French Connection/Exorcist) Friedkin looks on with pride.
--Speilberg takes photo of Clint and Ellen for myspace. Nice.
--Gwennie looks okay. Here comes the Children of Men win. In your face, Tassoula. I hope.
--Shit.
--What the hell is this guy talking about? And here comes the music.
--What will the circus come up with? The VW. Well done.

MWC

~~~~~

1855

--Ellen 'recycling' jokes. Cute.
--Animated Feature goes to Happy Feet. We both lost that one.
--Finally—a montage about characters who are writers.
--Best Adapted Screenplay goes to William Monahan for The Departed. I'm depressed. Though I like the movie, I felt Little Children had a much better script; fewer flaws. Now if (when) Mirren takes Best Actress, Little Children will be completely shut out.
--Peter Jackson accepts award—oh wait—that's Monahan.
--Connelly is backstage with an unsophisticated scorecard.

TEK

~~~~~

1838

--They just ended the Departed montage with the worst scene from the entire film.
--Randy Newman and Sweet Baby James.
--Melissa now. Best female rock n roll voice ever. Keep your Chrissy Hyndes and your Hearts. The screen is showing what I thought was the best credit sequence of 2006. I think the company is The Scarlet Letter.
--Don’t run, Al, for the sake of all that’s holy.
--I hereby retract the Bill Clinton mention I just made.
--As Mr. Gore speaks, I begin to doze, as does Mr. Seinfeld. Kate Winslet just cried. They just played him off! Fantastic.

MWC

~~~~~

1828

Not my turn yet, but I just want to put it out there: Bill Clinton.

MWC

~~~~~

1827

--I'm intrigued by the sound-effect symphony. What does one have to have on their resume to apply for that gig?
--Beyoncé brought Dad. Did Jay-Z have to work?
--Nice innappropriate sex joke by Carrell & Kinnear.
--Sound Editing goes to Iwo Jima; MWC-did you delete my original post for what I predicted? I can't find it, therefore I can't calculate our current score.
--Sound Mixing goes to Dreamgirls. MWC gets a point for that one (that part I can see since we differed).
--Supporting Actor goes to Alan Arkin. Although my prediction was right (one more point for TEK), I'm tearing up at Earle Haley's loss. At least Gumby didn't win.
--Bored with her co-star's acceptance speech, Abby Breslin checks to see if Mom is crying. Hysterical.
--Ellen just popped up in the audience.
--I'm cracking open a roll of Marie Lu cookies as the tension is mounting.
--Cirque de Soleil turned into penguins this time.

TEK

~~~~~

1807

--Fantastic opening with the Errol Morris “interrotron” invention he came up with where people look into his eyes and are filmed at the same time.
--Will Ferrell with Greg Brady’s hair.
--Jack Black, John C. Reilly.
--“Helen Mirren and the Oscar will be coming home with me!!” Genius.
--After makeup, the score is TEK 2, MWC 2
--First “playoff” goes to the makeup winners who just begin pointing at people they know in the audience before getting the hook.
--Jaden Christopher Sire Smith. Aren’t you precious?
--After 3, still 2 to 2.
--We rule. West Bank Story makes it 3 for 4 for both of us.
--Did Spielberg just give Clint a “you suck” glance before we go to break?

MWC

~~~~~

1750

--Ellen is great.
--"No one can fill a seat like an American."
--"It's not that we don't have time for long speeches. It's that we don't have time for boring ones."
--"If there weren't blacks, Jews and gays, there would be no Oscar. And no one named Oscar."
--Kidman: "Dreamgoils"
--Cha-ching: Score 1 for Pan's Labyrinth
--Clever Academy—trying to bring some interest to the tech-geek statues by having Gyllenhaal read all about 'em.
--Cirque de Soleil morphs into Oscar® before our very eyes. Or I've had too much Mike's Hard Lemonade.
--Just kidding about the lemonade.

TEK

~~~~~

1730

--Hey TEK. You were right. Let’s switch off at each commercial break. You go first. Post during the first break and then I’ll take over until the next one. I’ll probably end up with “technical Oscars given away at a ceremony earlier in the week”.
--IT'S SHOW TIME. Finally.

MWC

~~~~~~


1725

--U2 song into break got me out of my chair. Thanks boys.
--The Three Amigos are in the house talking about their sexual attraction. God love 'em.
--Kate Winslet is classiest, most eloquent, intelligent woman of our generation.
--Lisa Ling: "What's it like to get naked and pretend to bang an equally naked hot guy on film?"

TEK

~~~~~

1720

--The Smiths are not the first family of Hollywood. The Barrymores? The Hustons? The Coppolas?
--I never need to see or hear that Purple-suited fashion guy again.
--The Goslings into COBLights. Nice.

MWC

~~~~~~

1715

--Smith family is nothing short of adorable.
--Cameron Diaz could never be adorable. Brush your hair, tacky girl!

TEK

~~~~~

1710

--Are you kidding me with the opening? Robin Williams speaking through a penguin. I may turn off the show now.
--This ABC exclusive pre-show is never good. But Chris just asked Leo a question that was ten times better than anything we’ve heard in the last three hours.
--Is that guy wearing a cape and gloves as he shops with Hudson? Worst interviewer ever.
--Medusa is nominated for costume design for “Prada”.
--Blessed Commercial Break.

MWC

~~~~~~

1705

--They've brought in the first string. Hallelujah.
--Chris Connelly has Jon Stewart-like salt-n-pepper hair. Am I that old?
--2-for1 Aussie girls interview.
--Where are Mr. Urban and Mr. Schreiber?

TEK

~~~~~

1700

--Ryan: Meryl Streep, you’ve been nominated for 14 Oscars. Meryl: And now I’m a size 14 so it all worked out.
--They’re rushing in now.

MWC

~~~~~~

1655

--Meryl Streep is wearing a trenchcoat with a spaceship around her neck.
--Marty's in the house. This has to be his year!
--Abigail Breslin is an adorable mini-ballerina.
--Clive Owen in a velvet-trimmed jacket. Yum!!!
--Five minutes to showtime.

TEK

~~~~~

1650

--Peter O’Toole is wearing a Hefner-designed robe. He can hear you, but he hates you Pinnochio.
--Ryan: Ricky Garvas? Winslett: It’s Gervais. Nice video note from Ricky to Kate.
--Ryan: Hey Queen Latifah, come rub up against me.
--Actually, it is like watching a car crash on ABC. E is kicking their ass.

MWC

~~~~~~


1645

--George: "Peter O'Toole is too deaf to hear us."
--Richard: "He's moving at his own pace."
--For the love of God.

TEK

~~~~~

1640

--Mrs. Whitaker is pretty cool.
--Beyonce is supernatural.
--Mark Walhberg and his Click Photobook rent-a-date.
--Nicole Kidman has apparently absconded with a portion of the red carpet.
--Gosling in the house.

MWC

~~~~~~


1635

--Richard: "Cate Blanchett, there is no possible way you will win. Why did you come?"
--Eastwood Handler: "Clint's not ready" George: (lunges past the back of Richard's shoulder anyway)
--Over to the African-American guy with the pointless stats.

TEK

~~~~~

1625

--George: "Sascha Baron Cone has arrived."
--Who hires these monkeys???

TEK

~~~~~

1620

--Leo’s handler with headset mouthing “he said ‘no’, absolutely not”
--Helen Mirren can absolutely be described as boobalicious.
--Michael Scott in the building.
--Jackie Earl Haley, I just want to hug you!
--Helen Mirren, the first lady of the British stage watches as Ryan Seacrest shows us his underpants. God Bless America.

MWC

~~~~~~

1615

--"She's lost her mind. And her bra as well."
--Michael and I would be so good at their job.

TEK

~~~~~

1605

--Back just in time to catch Jackie Earle Haley - go Jackie!!!
--Camera getting dangerously close to Leo's face.
--Mirren giving the "pleasure to be nominated" BS answer. Easy for her to say.
--Pizza ready, taking a break to eat.

TEK

~~~~~

1600

--I hate how the interviewers, while speaking to someone famous, will look down the carpet for a larger name. Goodbye Rachel, hello Jennifer.
--I’ve just been told that Dreamgirls “popped”.
--That Randolph guy just broke down Rachel Weisz’s outfit for five full minutes. My penis is shriveling.
--Helen Mirren, John Travolta, Jessica Biel, Kelly Preston wearing an endangered species.
--1555 Pizza here. Keep your seats.
--The fleet of Prius’s are here.
--Now about to eat.


MWC

~~~~~~


1550

--Now switching between Roeper and Ryan.
--Jennifer Hudson, J Lo, Rinko, Deneuve, Melissa Etheridge, Penelope Cruz, Rachel Weisz: boobalicious, Cameron Diaz: not boobalicious, The Smiths are here.
--Jennifer Hudson’s handler just waved off the still photographers as he dragged her to the international video press.
--Rinko is cute as a button

MWC

~~~~~~

1545

--Wondering who "did" Rachel Weisz's hair?
--Stepping out for a few to pick up my pizza (topping is 1/2 pepperoni, 1/2 Hawaiian...otherwise known as 'heaven').

TEK

~~~~~

1530

--Jodie Foster, Al and Tipper, Portia, Elizabeth Shue, John Singleton,
--Ryan to Gael: How was it working with Brad Pitt in Babel?
--Gael: I’ve never met him.
--Ryan: Do you like Brad.
--Gael: Yes I do. But we didn’t have any scenes together.
--Ryan: Congratulations connecting yourself to Brad Pitt, one of our biggest stars.

MWC

~~~~~~


1520

--Ryan to Maggie: You’ve done three movies with your brother? Maggie: We’ve done one. Ryan: Would you like to get to three? Peter: They have to get to two first. Genius stuff.
--Greg Proops is on TVG. Veteran of the San Francisco comedy scene.
--The Mexicans are here, the Mexicans are here! Y Tu Mama heartthrobs sighted.
--Lou Gossett, Jr., Larry David

MWC

~~~~~~


1510

--pizza will arrive “in 45 minutes”. For those of you in an office pool, the winner is, Pepperoni and Sausage (I go all out for the Oscars).
--I’m switching between Joan and Ryan.
--First star sighting: Maggie & Peter.
--The The for M & M’s? I’m so old.
--James the Scottish guy in LAST KING OF SCOTLAND
--Do we need the general public to text E? Dear Meryl, good luck! I’m sure Ms. Streep is watching and thanks you Sarah from Colorado.
--Keep Maggie and Peter waiting while you guys figure out how to work the telestrater. “good to see you” “good to see you”.
--There’s Tony Blair

MWC

~~~~~

1435

--Is it just me or did Jennifer Hudson reference some chick named Ruth when referring to the inspiration for her Dreamgirls 'Effie' character?
--If so, what the hell is Jennifer Holiday doing claiming the glory?
--I think she just swallowed a small frog during that last gutteral gasp.

TEK

~~~~~

1355

--Returned from Oscar®-day walk in the rain. The din of E! is now accompanying my mandatory Sunday chores like laundry and gathering my recycling for the bin.
--No MWC, you're not the only person watching this stuff.

TEK

~~~~~


1210

--switching now to a Tivo’d Ebert and Roeper because even a gay-acting-straight-boy like me can only take so much.

--the co-host this week on the show is George Pinnochio, who works at the local L.A. ABC affiliate. I bring him up because he is among the very worst things about the Oscar pre-show on ABC. He’ll be paired with Roeper tonight instead of with the almighty Ebert. Roeper has spent the past few years up in the skybox overlooking Hollywood Blvd. When it was Pinnochio and Ebert, you could palpably sense the difference in respect afforded the two of them.

Pinnochio: aren’t you just so unbelievably excited this year?

Ebert: that tracking shot you pulled off in the third act, did you mean to tip your hat to Ozu or to the young turks of the post-Kiarostami Persian cinema?

Who do you think the filmmakers will take more seriously? Ebert didn’t look comfortable and is famous for forgetting that the microphone is the technology that sound travels through. But Roeper, who I actually like, is way more starstruck than Ebert and I’m not sure he has even a sliver of the encyclopedic knowledge of film that Ebert has. How are these two tuxedoed hair gel boys going to converse intelligently with Mr. Scorsese? I’m not optimistic.

MWC

~~~~~

Sunday 1150

Only five and a half hours to go. Pizza coupon ready. The guy on E right now (who simply could not be gayer) is discussing what kinds of M & Ms to have and what candles to light for your own party.

Highlights from last year. I'm curious to see the viewership numbers for these pre-pre-pre shows. Am I the only one?

MWC

~~~~~
~~~~~

Saturday 2220

Final Oscar Ballots. These are the only differences we have:

TEK: O'Toole MWC: Whitaker

TEK: Arkin MWC: Murphy

Cinematography TEK: Black Dahlia MWC: The Almighty Children Of Men

Costume TEK: Marie Antoinette MWC: Dreamgirls

TEK: Two Hands MWC: Blood of Yingzhou District

Edit TEK: Blood Diamond MWC: Babel

Score TEK: Pan's MWC: Queen

Picture TEK: Iwo Jima MWC: Departed

TEK: Maestro MWC: Little Match Girl

Sound Mix TEK: Diamond MWC: Dreamgirls

Adapted TEK: Little Children MWC: Departed

Original TEK: Queen MWC: Little Miss Sunshine

~~~~~

Saturday 1603

Facility Hoffman.

Nice closing, Silverman.

TEK

~~~~~

Saturday 1600

--C’mon Gossling. Maybe Djimon will scream at the heavens when he announces the winner. Ryan Gossling! Yahoo!
--It’s a Half Nelson juggernaut. Not really.
--I love Half Nelson like McAdams loves Gossling.
--Best. Speech. Of. The. Afternoon.
--Gossling thanks Epps. Epps does not thank Gossling.
--Hi Maggie. 2006 was the year of the Gyllenhaal.
--Best Feature: Little Miss Sunshine. Hard to be upset.

MWC

~~~~~

Saturday 1555

--They're using the same clips from the same films for every nominee. Could Acura not pay for more 'rights?'
--Gosling WON!!! Hurrah!!!
--Gosling has a serious case of Forest Envy.
--Gosling is still talking

TEK

~~~~~

Saturday 1551

It's Kerry Washington. How could I forget the hottest girl in Uganda?

MWC

~~~~~

Saturday 1550

--American Gun song. Doogie Howser. Who comes screaming out of the closet.
--Bless you Cuba. The actor. Not the country “hosting” Guantanamo Bay.
--John Waters, the poet laureate of the Independent Spirit Awards.
--Half Nelson (best film of 2006) song time. A crack-headed teacher man.
--Spiderman 3. Independent? Not so much.
--Good Little Miss Sunshine song. The directors thank all five producers because if they happen to win tomorrow night, they can only have three of them on stage because the Oscars have rigid rules.

MWC

~~~~~

Saturday 1545

--MWC let us know if you're still breathing.
--John Waters= "Christina Bagwahn Shee Rajneeshi" Oops. Ricci.
--Shareeka Epps=Adorable!

TEK

~~~~~

Saturday 1535

--Where art thou my partner???
--Doogie Houser takes "coming out" bit way too seriously.
--Man Push Cart loses 300th award.
--Guillermo Navarro (no relation to Dave, I hope) wins for Pan's, yeah!

TEK

~~~~~




Saturday 1525

--Neve Campbell is scary looking.
--Hot Lips is scary looking and reminds me of abominable snowman (see photo).

TEK

~~~~~

Saturday 1520

--These two $50,000 winners are exactly the type of people these awards are for. Bedroom film editors. These grants really mean something to them.
--Lost the envelope. Sharon Stone blames co-presenter, watch your back for a loose Komodo Dragon, Skarsgaard.
--Way to go, Shortbus. A film I watched just last night. Brilliant, funny, human.
--And who doesn’t love Pizza?
--Faye Dunaway sighting outside. My daughter, my sister, my daughter, my sister.
--Yikes, how long ago was M.A.S.H.?
--Sally Kellerman, you’ll always be the voice of Hidden Valley Ranch dressing. Ooh, Ranch!

MWC

~~~~~

Saturday 1515

--I wish they wouldn't name awards after sponsors.
--If I ever get my day of screenwriting glory, I would hate for the announcer to say "And the winner of the Playtex Innovative Scribe Award goes to Tassoula!"
--I feel the same way about concert venues named after airlines. Or pop. Or dental floss.
--And I miss Sharon Stone's black Gap turtleneck.

TEK

~~~~~

Saturday 1510

--cutest arm candy: James Bond’s date.
--First Roeper sighting. Nice Miami Vice stubble.
--Shareeka Epps! Yahoo! Should have gotten the Supporting Actress Oscar Nomination.
--Michelle Williams, you’ll always be bad-girl Jen to me. On an all new Dawson’s Creek.
--Nice! Half Nelson On The Map! Sean Penn leans in to ask who the hell just took his wife’s award. With that dress, Shareeka could fly to the stage. First time in heels? No love for Ryan?
--Little Miss Sunshine song coming up…Everyone pretend to be normal…Taylor Dayne? Are you kidding me? Back to the facelift gazebo, Taylor, you don’t look Chinese enough.
--Acura. You get a car! You get a car!
--That guy gets to sleep with Maggie.

MWC

~~~~~

Saturday 1505

--The Lives of Others wins - hurrah!!!
--Shareeka Epps wins - hurrah!!!
--Shareeka Epps just ruins TEK's hilarious ass-shakin' Shakira joke by verbally bitch-slapping Felicity Huffman for mispronouncing her name.
--Maybe next year, Bill Macy will do the awards show and Mom will do the kid's birthday party.

TEK

~~~~~

Saturday 1500

--Song number two. The Dead Girl. The teacher from Boston Public. Not your average ho. Who is the incredibly cute AA woman in the front row that they keep showing? I’m sure the song would be funnier had I seen the film.
--Free Pop Secret backstage!
--Huge forehead alert! Here comes the Ricci. Huge head, tiny neck, weird mouth. But…strangely…hot. Black Snake Moan indeed!
--Days of Glory: my favorite foreign film this year (out of two).
--Winner: The Lives Of Others, directed by a guy twice the height of the Ricci.

MWC

~~~~~

Saturday 1455

--Dennis Hopper drops F-bomb.
--Dennis Hopper launches into lengthy Laura-Dern-is-Lynch's-teacher's-pet montage.
--Tassoula takes break to eat banana.
--Laura Dern refuses to read haiku for absent director.
--Who does this bee-yotch think she is? Twin Peaks God put you on the map and has kept you employed for 15 years. Read the f-ing poem. It's only 17 syllables.

TEK

~~~~~

Saturday 1450

--Here comes a short film. Pretty good.
--Dennis Hopper—Blue Velvet was decades ago. Stop living back there. David Lynch is sometimes a genius, but often too snobby for his own good. Mulholland Drive was fabulous. Eraserhead scary. Blue Velvet: overrated.

MWC

~~~~~

Saturday 1445

--Quinceañera...British???
--Guillermo del Toro is wearing ONE Campaign band. It's hard not to like that guy.
--Minnie Driver has brilliant voice, but to me she will always be Benny.
--Damn that Sarah Silverman.

TEK
~~~~~

Saturday 1440

--Most subtle shirt pattern, 2007: The guy who made Sweetland.
--Angelica Huston appears to have come from the future.
--Sorry, TEK, but Sarah Silverman is cute in her babydoll and stockings.
--John Cassavetes Award: Finally, something I’ve seen: Quinceanera. The filmmaker doesn’t have what might be characterized as a Latino accent, however. “Hello Gov’nor”
--The Pan’s Labyrinth Frog makes an appearance. Nice.
--Here comes the first song: Cinequest Maverick Minnie Driver. This is my favorite part of the show. Director can’t clap on beat. I can’t decide if Minnie is cute or scary.
--Nice Roman Numeral joke.
--Here comes Dawn, time for a bathroom break.

MWC

~~~~~

Saturday 1435

--Sweet Land guy is so pretentious he named his kids after Roman Numerals.
--Didn't know Transamerica 2 was filming...oh wait...that's just Angelica Houston.

TEK

~~~~~

Saturday 1430

--Winona, where have you been? I miss you. What she used to mean to me cannot be overstated. She looks good.
--Marcia Gay Harden: your cheeks look bigger than usual.
--Supporting Actress: Margie from Fargo.
--America’s sweethearts? Zack and America.
--Maggie Gyllenhaal, I’m looking at you.
--First Feature: None of which have played in my town. Sweetland. Maybe now it will get distribution. Good to see my brother Alan.
--One of the great things about these awards is that the filmmakers often hate having the camera on them. They picked a job behind the camera for a reason.

MWC

~~~~~

Saturday 1425

Loreal (an unlikely 'indie' sponsor) has taken to posting ridiculous ticker-banners at the bottom of the screen at the most inopportune times.

For example: "And the winner is—Frances McDormand for Friends With Money!"
Ticker-banner: "In July of 1961, seven dogs were groomed at a tent across the street!"

Annoying.

And yes—I'm smiling about the Sunshine love.

TEK

~~~~~

Saturday 1420

--Elliot Gould appears to be 200 years old.
--TEK and I are trying a new thing now, updating every five minutes.
--Lucy Liu looks happy for once.
--The geniuses behind Half Nelson look like people you’d have at a low-key holiday party.
--First Screenplay: Little Miss Sunshine. TEK is smiling, I’m sure.
--The award itself looks like a scary bronzed bat.

MWC

~~~~~

Saturday 1410

Joan of Arcadia blushes at simulated cheese-fucking.

TEK

PS - Sorry about the erase, partner. Blogger must've thought mine was funnier.

~~~~~

Saturday 1409

First instance of TEK erasing what I wrote. There are some kinks to work out still.

MWC

~~~~~


Saturday 1404

That whole white-boy-DJ-rap-breakdancing thing was just embarrassing. Somewhere 50 Cent is shaking his head in shame.

TEK

~~~~~

Saturday 1402

Man Push Cart
Who Gives Shit

MWC

~~~~~

Saturday 1359

Did Sorry Haters even make it to North American soil???

TEK

~~~~~

Saturday 1341

Embarassed to not know so many of the ISA nominees. Last year seemed to be full of mainstream people. Not so much this year.

MWC

~~~~~

Saturday 1318

Fifteen minutes until the nomination special on IFC. I'm going to wait on my Oscar picks until late tonight or maybe even tomorrow. Sometimes I just wake up with a hunch.

MWC

~~~~~

Friday 2055.

Listener alert: a teeny-tiny podcast will be coming your way momentarily to explain this further.

TEK

~~~~~

Friday 2030.

Tassoula and I are going to try something this weekend. That is to snark, comment, argue, and ridicule the biggest weekend of the moviegoing year. Tomorrow in a tent next to the Santa Monica Pier, what is affectionately called the "Independent Film Community" will meet to hand out the Independent Spirit Awards. Then on Sunday evening, that most American of holidays, the Academy Awards takes place at the Kodak (tm) Theater in Hollywood. Refresh this page for all the updates on boobs, face-lifts, filmmakers who got robbed, the Children Of Men controversy, and all manner of snobby commentary. Feel free to add to the comments section as we go along. Those of you in other countries (hey guys) probably won't be awake when the actual ceremonies take place, so you can check here after the shindigs have ended.

MWC

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2 Comments:

Blogger Average Matt said...

I'm extremely disappointed that

A) You didn't make a single mention that Lightning McQueen and Mater are in the house.

B) HAPPY FEET, one of the worst animated films of all-time, beat out CARS for the Oscar. This is like Jethro Tull winning Best Heavy Metal performance at the Grammys.

7:15 PM  
Blogger Cinebanter said...

A) Steven McQueen and Tater? Who?

B) I didn't feel qualified to rant, as I've only seen Monster House in this category, but thank you for doing that for us. Nice Jethro Tull analogy.

TEK

7:21 PM  

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